Fuck What You Heard, Feminism Is NOT A Bad Word

There is an article going aroung the internet recently, I can’t remember what it is called but it is written by a mother of two boys and it discusses why she doesn’t need feminism anymore. She was saying that she wants her boys to grow up holding doors for women. She also spoke of her disdain at women who teach women (and men) the statistic that one in three women will be sexually assaulted at some point in their lives. She argued that this will make her sons feel like all women are looking at them as predators before they have even done anything wrong.
Obviously, I took to having a great deal of issues with this essay. My first problem was how she explained how she “used to be a feminist” but is no longer one due to giving birth to two sons. I have a son and a daughter, so I don’t buy that having a boy should make you an anti-feminist.
What she is doing is reitifying false feminist stereotypes. Mainly that feminist hate men. Wrong. Feminist want equality for everyone. That’s it. Feminist are not saying that a man cannot hold a door open for his girlfriend, we are just saying that we are capable of doing it ourselves. Men can certainly do something nice. On the opposite side of that same coin, feminists are not out there saying that wives should not ever do things for their husbands. I, for example, am a strong feminist, but frequently pamper my husbands. We are against gender roles as an archetype, that does not at all mean that we refuse to do laundry or cooking. We just want the division of labor to be evenly split.
It is perfectly fine for men to love tools and motorcycles and sports. The issue is that when I talk about football, and know my shit more than 90% of any man that I have spoken to about the topic, I am met with shock. I would love my son to start playing football this year now that he is old enough, it just pisses me off that for my daughter be involved with the sport, she has to be half-naked. Either by being a cheerleader or by playing in the lingerie football league. Yeah, we (as a society) will give girls the opportunity to play football, but they literally have to be in their underwear.
As for teaching men and women the statistics on rapes and sexual assaults, I’m sorry, but this needs to be done. It does not make women look at all men as though they are automatically rapists. I am a rape victim, and do not fear man as a gender. I do not hate men, actually most of my friends are men.
This leads me to my main problem with women like this one denouncing feminism. Using the argument that you “are no longer a feminist” because you are a mother of boys reinforces the false ideology that feminists hate men. This is just flat out not true. Are there any feminists in the world that hate men? I’m sure that there are. There are feminists in the world that hate makeup and fashion as well, but they are not the norm. We don’t hate men, we hate the patriarchal society that we live in.
Everytime, a woman says that they don’t need feminism, it sets back our fight for equal rights, equal pay. Feminism is just the desire for women to be treated the same as men. Not better, not worse. We don’t wanted to be handed things or hired because we are women, we just want an equal chance to get the job and then get paid the same if we do get the job. I hope that women like that realize the harm that they do with denouncing feminism outright.

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2 thoughts on “Fuck What You Heard, Feminism Is NOT A Bad Word

  1. Bravo! I couldn’t have said it better myself. True feminism has long since forgotten the notion of hating men, if it ever had that notion to begin with. I’ve known the angry, man-hating feminist and they tend to be more equal opportunity people-haters before anything else. Feminism is their scapegoat to channel that anger. I love men and women equally (in more than one way 😉 and the soon as one can learn to respect everybody, I mean EVERYBODY, you will just be a thorn in the side of a good cause. And certainly not anyone who should be given any credence. I felt very similar about an article I read about someone wanting to give up the word “addict” because of all the stigma that comes with it. I completely disagree. I am an addicted, therefore I’m an addict. I’m physically dependent on a chemical. I’m not just a user, because my body needs it, or at least FEELs that it NEEDS it. My chemical makeup has changed. That makes me an addict. What needs to change is people’s perception of addiction and those who are afflicted with the disease of addiction. Words are just words. It’s the meaning we put behind controversial words that matter. Some words can cause political unrest, social uprising, controversy, even war. If we learn to detach the meaning we put on words, take them for their literal definition and stop using them as a means to hurt others and bolster our own agenda, we’d have a very progressive and open-minded society. .

    Liked by 1 person

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