This Mother’s Day Let’s Celebrate Difficult Women

This weekend is both my much dreaded 30th birthday and Mother’s Day. One half way ok thing about coming into my third decade of life is that I have finally come in to my own as a difficult, pain-in-the-ass woman. And this year, for Mother’s Day, we all need to thank all of the bitches out there.

I just read an article that talked about the ways that feminists have made the world better for men. It discussed how now rape is not just regulated to women, how prisons are safer for everyone. etc, etc. The main issue that one could point to as advancement to men that was brought about by women that average society would consider less than exemplary was what they labeled as number two. This talked about men who have relationships with feminists have better, more fulfilling sex lives. Yes, far from the common stereotype put out by a misogynistic media that portrays feminists as man hating, ball busters, feminists enjoy sex with men.

After years of women like Madonna and Lil Kim being called “whores” and “sluts”, women are now able (somewhat) to own their sexuality. Of course this is mostly only within the confines of a relationship, but we can own it in freedom. Women have said “fuck you” to the double standard of men being able to fuck whoever, whenever without impunity, while a chick who has had one, or heave forbid multiple, one night stands was shamed to the point of tears and life-long depression. Yes, women are still slut shamed, but there are at least now thousands of women who just don’t give a fuck and will engage in sex often, be it normal or kinky as shit. And of course sex seems to be the easiest way to get someone’s attention.

I am not one of those people that thinks that Jenna Jameson is a fabulous feminist icon. I do not buy into the idea that they get paid millions to be gang banged on camera, so that is great for women. I am glad for them that they are prod of their bodies, but you can not tell me that the women in porn control the industry. Too much of what is put out by the porn industry perpetuates violence against women, torture and rape in the guise of fantasy. That is not good for anyone.

Anyway, despite what some people believe the world would be better if this was the eighteen hundreds or the nineteen fifties. Susan B, Anthony fought for women to vote, Betty Freidan cried about the “Feminine Mystique”, and now fifty years after the famed book, president Obama signed legislature that allows women to sue companies that systematically discriminate against women as far as pay is concerned. I had a man recently say to me that this country was founded by white men, and thus they should be paid the most. Let’s just ignore the pure ignorance a to the facts that women, people of any race other than white COULD NOT help to found the country, but why would you not want your wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend to make as much as a man. Anyone has ever been raised by a single mother can thank every woman that stood up and demanded for this gap to get closer should realize that is still not close enough. I asked this douche, why would people continue to work their ass off if they know that $.77 to the male $1. Marie Curie and Amelia Earhart are two very famous examples of how much women can accomplish.

Women were long considered the silent background of the civil rights movement. How far would this country have not come if a woman, a black woman at that, named Rosa Parks had not vehemently refused to move to the back of the bus. Yet another example of something done by a “difficult” woman that benefit society as a whole.

Many women are automatically shoved into the role of care giver, and when we finally put our foot down, it is very seldom just for our personal gain. It is for women as a sex, or all humans. We can not sit there in the year 2014 and still even begin to think that a woman’s place is prone, or silent, or both. We have more and more single mothers who are fighting for their entire families.

For all the shit that Courtney Love took, she paved the way for Brode Dalle, Taylor Momsen, shit even Avril Levigne and Miley. Each woman that refused to take sexism and hatred sitting down made the road a little bit more paved for the next generation of girls (and boys). The issue is that we can not afford to make our daughters fight the battles that our grandmothers already won. We must remember and praise every pain in the ass bitch who called out every chauvinist pig, for if we don’t, we are in history of going back in time.

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